Please stop throwing the cat

So, when our supposedly infertile cat turned up pregnant after escaping the house, we all obviously fell in love with the kittens. There were three of them, plus the mom. That's four cats for those that are a little slow this morning. I informed my oldest children that I would NOT be cleaning the litter box or feeding them. If they wanted them, it was their job (not that I did it with one cat, but I just wanted to make it clear that I was not going to start). They have to be reminded constantly, but it does get done. This I anticipated.

What I did NOT anticipate was having to tell my sons to stop throwing the cat. What is wrong with them? They throw them, carry them around, close them in the microwave of their little tykes kitchen set (thankfully I caught them in time when they tried to shove the cat in OUR microwave), shove them under couch cushions, and generally just poke and prod at them. I don't know why I think telling them to stop is going to actually make them, you know, stop. Nothing else they do has been remedied with a stern "Don't do that again!" . Here is a short list of the things I say EVERY. FREAKING.DAY.

"Put the cat down"
"Go to your room, we do NOT throw the kittens!"
"Shut the refrigerator"
"Get out of the kitchen"
"Stop playing in the toilet"
"Stop running the cars down the hallway"
"Cars don't drive on walls"
"We do NOT unroll toilet paper (can be substituted for paper towels) all over the house"
"Stop running up and down the hallway, your father is sleeping!!" (he works nights)
"Put the milk back in the fridge. It's too heavy and you'll drop it and break it. If you want something to drink, ask!"
"Get off of mommy's computer. You have your own and you need to ask"
"Stop throwing things out your window!"
"Your top bunk is NOT there to jump off of onto the bottom bunk!"
"Oh, good, you hate me again. That's new" can also be substitued with "Oh, you hate me, good, my job is done"
"Get OUT of your sister's room"
"Leave eachother alone"
"Keep your hands to yourself....feet too!"
"Would you PLEASE stop grabbing your penis. If you have to pee, go pee, if you want to play with it, go to your room"
"No, you may NOT sleep on the couch, get in your bed!"

This is just a short list. One day I honestly think I may record myself, and then just play the appropriate track to the boys when necessary. It would save me from talking as much as I do.

Oh, and this list doesn't include the daily repeats for the kids. I get that children learn by repetition...does it need to be THIS repetative?